Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Top 5 Gross-Out Fast Foods
I've recently been inspired by a truly amazing food phenomenon -- Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza. Have you seen this thing?! John Stewart and Steven Colbert have mocked it on their shows, making it a symbol of unchecked indulgence and plain bad taste. Domino's own commercials feature guys with yucky oreo cookie mustaches (see the ad here) from chowing on it. I know it's just a fad, but it's too scary to ignore.
The Oreo Pizza has led me to reflect on the lengths to which some food corporations will go to be bigger, better and nastier than their competitors. So here's my personal list of the top 5 gross-out fast foods on the market. Did I name one of your guilty (or possibly not so guilty) pleasures? Let me know what grosses you out in the comments.
5) Enormous Omelete Sandwich: 730 calories, 45 grams of fat (69% of your daily fat needs), 110% of your daily recommended cholesterol. But it'll keep you going right up till lunch time!
4) KFC Famous Bowl: I don't really have anything against KFC. If I'm going to eat fried chicken and biscuits, I want my homemade recipe. But, the conventional wisdom says the colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices is pretty good. This, however, does not excuse the Famous Bowl (pictured above) -- and what's so famous about it anyway? It's a massive bowl of mashed potatoes, topped with corn, popcorn chicken (read, "fried leftover chicken bits"), shredded cheese, gravy, and an optional biscuit add-on. All for 910 calories and a helluva lot of carbs.
3) IHOP's Country Fried Steak & Eggs: This item deserves a special mention because my sweetheart -- whom I would not hesitate to call an epicurean under normal circumstances -- absolutely loves it. Actually, he doesn't just love it, he's passionate about it and rhapsodizes over its charms. In our house, it has come to stand for his idea of bliss and my idea of pain. He loves it so much, he only eats it on rare occasions -- those couple times a year when he can devote an entire day to digesting it. In case you haven't had the pleasure, it's a fried piece of beef smothered in thick white sauce called, euphemistically, country gravy. It's served with a biscuit, and Mike get his with eggs over easy. He mixes it all around on his plate, douses it with hot sauce, and goes to his happy place for about an hour, at which point he is rendered immobile. To him, IHOP's version of this southern fave is the best, and that's why it's made the list.
2) Skyline Chili 3-Way: This ain't the good kind of 3-way -- a mound of spaghetti, a helping of beef chili flavored with cinnamon and electric-yellow cheese on top; actually, the color of the cheese is not so much electric--it's radioactive.
1) Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza - Cookie crumbs stuck to a thin crust with gooey white icing. This isn't a pizza, it's a way to use up all the broken oreos...nice work, Nabisco.
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